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Sunday, August 7, 2011

The Pint turns 12

oh dear. yep! she turned 12 the beginning of this month! almost 5 " tall (lacks a quarter inch).  sparkley eyes. no more adhd meds. funny, bright, loving.  half pint is busy counting the days, her 9th birthday is the 22nd. school starts the following day!

of course, thier mom came over. suffice to say, we ALL had a migraine when she finally left. yep, even the kids. why does methadone make them talk so  very LOUD?

pint starts 8th grade this year and half pint, tunrs nine and the next day starts 5th grade. scarey is what that is. but, she was all honors in i still think she is okay.

terrified is what i am.  did i do the right thing?  only time will tell.   pint said the other day, as pap and i were having a beer..."i dont think it's gonna be okay for me to ever even taste alcohol. don't they say that the gene is passed from dad to daughter?"  we said yes.....and waited.  she said, well, since both parents are addicts, i guess i wont be experimenting with anything at all. not even once, because, well, statistically, the first time i try, i will become an addict."

out of the mouths of babes. i just hope she remembers all this later. however, most kids get offered drugs/alcohol starting in junior high, and grade advancing her may work in our favor here. since she is only 12 and in eighth grade, maybe the other/older kids won't bother her too much?  the other thing is she is so close to the situation, that the hurt is still very much present with her mom and dad and heroin, so she is so anti-drug it isn't funny.

meanwhile, her dad is in town, running from the law. she says if she spots him she will call the police herself to get him off the streets. she has nothing to say about her dad.  while she hasn't "madonna-ized" (is that a word) her mother, she does still make excuses, although they are getting much rarer. she has seen her nod off several times lately, and the look of complete and utter disgust on her face is very sad, and very telling. i don't think it will be long before she writes her mom off.

our relationship with the 1/4 pint, whom mom still has is good. she comes and spends the night a couple of times a week. the worst part is that her sisters are much older, that we have no 'little' toys here, and that the girls have their own friends, agenda's, social life, etc.  so their tolerance for sitting there watching Handy Manny or Diego is not very long LOL.  1/4 and I color alot when the girls have had enough and say, "can I go to ......'s house?"

life, is what it is. we are happy, we are fed, the kids are great and everyone is getting by. that's really all we can ask.

another milestone!! a big one. a HUGE one.

Pint was released from her psychiatrist, and pronounced NORMAL. she was released from counseling after 7 years, and pronounced NORMAL. she is ecstatic. her psychiatrist made kind of a big deal out of it, asking her....

Pint, what is your very BIGGEST goal in life?  she of course, said "to be normal".  He walked around the desk, asked her to stand up, shook her hand and said "well then, congratulations!! Most people don't achieve their biggest goal until their late 40's and you have achieved it on your 12th birthday! - you have alot to be proud of and I now pronounce you NORMAL!"

you could just see her beam. the light of love shone through her wise 12 year old eyes.

her psychiatrist is a great guy LOL. he made my baby's entire year. she will start 8th grade a normal kid.



  1. So wonderful. I worry about you guys..really, I do.

    Pat yourself on the back!

    Oh, Andrew talks really LOUD. With him, it's from prison. You have to shout, there is so much noise. Or so I'm told;)

  2. You've got your hands full that's for sure and it sounds like your doing a wonderful job! I hope pint has a "great" school year! They grow so fast.....we saw that the first time around with our children and now again with the grandkids!! LOL, but so true isn't it? My pint turned 11 this month and is almost as tall as me. I don't know how you do it....... A BIG cyber hug to you!

  3. ((HUGS)) Amazing what the word "normal" can do to a child! She can take whatever lable she labled herself off! What a great birthday gift! Again, I admire all you do for these kids. I am not sure I could do the same if I was in your shoes! You have a strength that is hard to come to by!
    You also made my day by saying Life is what it is. We are happy. So there is light at the end of tunnel huh?
    Have you come into my city yet? If not, let me know when and I will meet you for lunch or dinner or something. HUGS! Kelly

  4. Kelly, forgive me but I forgot what city u r in lol

  5. Happy Birthday to two special girls! They are so blessed to have you and your husband. It sounds like they are both smart. I doubt that same psychiatrist would give me the diagnosis of being normal! What a great way to start her 12th year.

    How old is 1/4 pint? I still have a box of toys in our garage, I wonder if she'd want any? Of course they are boyish toys.

    Hope they both have an outstanding and fun school year.

  6. I am also raising my three grandchildren.

    My 6 year old is starting her 2nd round of counseling.

    I sure hope she does as well as Pint.

    bios are just starting a court battle to try and get kids back. they don't live together, can't speak without throwing darts, etc.

    6 year old told me she doesn't want to live with either one of them. She wants to stay with us.

    We pray she and siblings survive this battle and all can remain "normal"

    You are a wonder.

    God Bless

  7. Ohmygosh, so excited for Pint!

    So for me grades 6-8 were hell, and then they slowly started getting better until grade 12 I was pretty much over all the emotional turmoil that comes with growing up in general PLUS the additional issues of having an addict mother, who I madonna-ized as well. normal. I still have issues there. But, Pint will come around and soon see her for what she is, and not what she wishes her mother to be. Of course then she will have a lot of anger to deal with, I know I did (still do at times). But you know what, I was a TOTAL nit in high school and college about drinking/drugs. It wasn't until I was in my mid 20's that I ever went out to bars with friends or to clubs etc, and even still being around people who exhibit such a lack of control really disgusts me. I recently went to my 10 year reunion and holy hell, it was basically a frat party. People from my small town have some serious addiction issues. I am almost happy I grew up the way I did with a complete aversion to drugs and alcohol. I think it saved me. Maybe it will save her too... :) Take care!

  8. Ah Sydney. I don't think you will ever really know just how much your words help <3.

  9. yaya. Do they stand any chance, really? God, I hope not. I know u have kept the diary, etc....and u r doing all the right things. Heck, pint was in counseling for 7 flipping years...on purpose, cuz those records can be subpoened. My momma didn't raise no fool....

  10. So happy to read about Pint and her 'graduation' to "normal"! You've done an amazing job with those girls, Dawn. And right now, things seem to be fairly smooth. I know there will be more bumps in the road, but you've laid down a good, solid foundation and path for them to follow. Kids' observations and perceptions are often so accurate. I hope Pint can withstand the inevitable peer pressure to stray from the course. Girls Inc. has some wonderful self-esteem programs and resource materials to keep dialogue going and empower girls. Also, GirlUp, The Girl Effect, and - well, there are some good ones out there. The YWCA is a resource, also. Just know I'm cheering you on as the pints grow and develop under your guidance.

  11. Hi Dawn, As always I am so impressed with the way you are raising those little beauties. I like the way they know that addiction is indeed passed down from the parents. Unfortunately my son has recently tried pot and in his own words "I LOVE IT" I am so crushed, as he too knows about the gene thing. He is diagnosed with depression and he told me that no meds work (they don't)and that when he tried pot, it was like instant happiness, something he hasn't experienced in years. It made him forget for a while how depressed he is. I told him I used alcohol for the same reason, to escape the misery that was MY life and look how that turned out! Needless to say he is not pleased with me because I won't allow him to get high. I just hope that since I nipped it in the first few weeks It won't be a long (life) time issue. BUTb it scares me that he has had a taste of what a mind altering drug feels like. And he LOVED It. Sorry I am going on about this, but I know that YOU know what it is like to have a child who loves their drugs. All I can do is continue to PRAY and watch him like a hawk and hope he makes the right choices. UGH. God help him.

  12. @queenneenee. Sports, church, one of those Mega churches with HUGE youth programs.... those are what my experience tells me works best for at risk kids. Surround them with kids who think drugs are dumb. If they aren't interested in sports, get thee to a church with a huge teen program. One that has at least three nighttime activities per week. It doesn't matter what religion you are, all of them have big churches, temple's, mosque's which will have teen programs. I personally hate the church I have started attending, but the girls love it, so, since research has shown it to be very effective in turning at risk kids away from druggies and diverting it to God, in whatever form you believe, to church we go! It is what it is.

  13. uplifting post to read! I hope the girls had a good first week at school - Pint being normal and all :) You've been a stable/steady force in their lives and sounds like Pint has a good head on her shoulders. Prayers for the girls!
    God bless.

  14. What a wonderful diagnosis - to simply be "normal"! That brought tears to my eyes. I have worked as a caseworker with foster kids for years and they would all love to have been diagnosed normal. Hell, so would I for that matter.
    Blessings to you and your family.

  15. Normal... Nice word, sometimes. Beautiful.

  16. @Rick. Yes it is. Because you are someone who remembers the HOURS I spent on the ladder of her bed every night...for 4 years....normal is no longer just a setting on the dryer in our home :-)