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Thursday, September 13, 2012

Annual Update!!

Just an annual update for all my 57 followers LOL.

Been a fairly quiet year. Well, quiet in OUR family anyway.

I am on several medications now, for heart, for nerves...(go figure? Right?).

DH had major surgery, it was a bit dicey there for awhile, see previous blog post.

Baby is now 6 months pregnant, her daughter is due December 30th. My how time flies. She is well maintained on her psychiatric meds, and has continued them throughout the pregnancy. There is some small risk with the medication she is on, but the doctors and the family decided that there was a much larger risk to the baby having a psychotic mother, so we decided to continue the meds. So far, the baby has checked out fine, and believe me when I tell you they are checking to the nth degree. We will welcome our new granddaughter with open arms. Baby has decided to live with us until the baby is at least 1 year old, and longer if we deem it necessary, depending on the state of her schizophrenia. She is being very adult in trying to deal with an incredibly difficult disease.

Pint is now in 9th grade. So far, she seems to be doing well in high school. She is taking ONE college class this semester. She does feel a bit challenged, college at 13 is a bit overwhelming after all, but I still believe strongly that challenging these girls will be their best bet to a drug free future. As long as we keep the challenges not too big, and overcome-able, which we have done. Her biggest challenge is actually learning how to study, as I mentioned before, this is not something she nor her sister have EVER had to do.

¾ Pint continues to be my 'breath of fresh air”. Nursey moved back to town, Cop still lives in town and ¾ Pint divides her time pretty equally between our home, her dad and her mom. It is a bit weird, but works for HER, and therefore, for us.

½ Pint is going through a bit of a rough spot. She is just turned 10 years old and in the same class as ¾ Pint, both in 6th grade. They are doing well with both being in the same grade, ½ Pint is also struggling a bit with learning good study and organizational skills. So far, 6th grade looks to be the most challenging year she has had to date.

¼ Pint continues to live with Mom, and has started Kindergarten this year. She passed all her milestones and passed the Kindergarten readiness test well. She is still so very tiny, about the size of a three year old. Very delicate looking. However, she is a bit of a pistol!

Pint is less defensive about her mother now. She is in high school, and so, is much more social and busy than before. Her mother will contact me to see if the girls can come visit, I whip out my phone calendar and am like “well, this weekend, Pint is doing this and this, and ½ Pint is free on Friday but not Saturday...”

Calamity (Mom) lost her 'take-homes' again. The girls are NEVER allowed to go to the methadone clinic with their mother, so if she doesn't have a take-home for that morning, the girls do not go. My rule. Unbreakable.

½ Pint has never really had a relationship with Mom, and so, many times just says “no, I don't want to go” when asked. Calamity deals with this. I can see the hurt in her, but again, when asked, I (gently) remind her that I didn't CAUSE this situation. She did.
Recently, after having the girls to a function for the afternoon, when returning them to me (late), she did say to me “mom, they are SUCH well behaved and good children”.

Most of our discord at this time revolves around her being a 'disneyland mom'. By that I mean that when the girls are with her, she tends to buy them whatever they ask for, at birthdays and Christmas, she tends to overspend on them.

I have noticed that they are starting to take advantage of this and have explained to her that it is OKAY to tell them NO. We do it all the time! She says, 'well, I don't get to spend as much time with them as I would like to and so, I hate to tell them no...” I reply “look. They are taking advantage of you, and you do NOT have the money!!” do NOT buy them things they ask for and then not be able to pay your bills. It doesn't make sense!

Money, in this economy continues to be very tight. There are many, many times we are asked by the girls, can we do this, or can we have this, and we have to say “sorry, there is no money in the budget for that..” and really, that is that. They get it. They DO KNOW how to hear the word no. Of course, they do not like it, hell I don't like it when I can't have something I want LOL. But it is what it is.

All three girls have had to share the attic bedroom since Baby and her Belly have moved in with us. That is a little dicey now. Three girls ages 10, 11 and 13 in the same room. Two 6th graders and one 9th grader. There are certainly conflicts there. But, I see it as an opportunity for them to learn many things.

  1. Family means sacrifice sometimes. When they bitch about it, I ask them if they want to be the one to go tell Aunt Baby that she needs to move out. That usually shuts them right up.
  2. It is your OBLIGATION when in a family, to figure out how to be both CIVIL and ACCOMODATING to those you live with.
  3. There are things in your life that you cannot control and you have to deal with them as best you can.

Son is still resident on our sofa. Sigh. He just turned 27. He is beginning a new relationship, we have not yet met the woman. Hopefully he will decide to live with her. We will not kick him out, but we also do not make it easy. He does pay a modicum of rent toward expenses. He is also helping to subsidize his grandparents financially, a significant amount each month, which we were unable to do. We help them out with food (I started extreme couponing to do this), and so, since he is also helping them out, there is necessity for him to stay here.

It is also another good lesson for the girls. Yes, we are VERY crowded. Yes, we have ONE bathroom and 7 ½ people in our home. Yes, we have to make allowances. And they have to learn to get along with everyone here.

It can sometimes be volatile. And funny. And crazy. Here we are.

DH, suffers from CHF, severe depression and PTSD. Insulin dependent diabetic who does NOT practice good blood sugar control. Won't even give himself his shots.

Me – just plain nuts some days. Control freak.

Son – highly gifted, sarcastic and VERY private.

Baby – Paranoid Schizophrenic and pregnant.

Pint – profoundly gifted and grade accelerated 2 years, drama queen, budding singer (really good voice) child of two junkies. Has mild (unmedicated) ADHD, RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder), a severe bleeding disorder similar to hemophilia and some organizational issues. Is 13 and so thinks she is fat and ugly. (she isn't.). didn't get bit by booby fairy, got MAULED by booby fairy. Wears a bigger bra size than I do. Sigh. Built like the proverbial brick sh**house.

¾ Pint – normal, smart, droll sense of humor. Can't sing. Plays Clarinet well. LOVES SHARKS. Suffers from severe Gastroparesis (digestive system does not work). Takes 11 meds a day to just digest her food. Very organized and is the 'go to girl' when something needs taken care of. First one to volunteer. Child of very narcissistic mother and very disciplined Federal Police Officer father. Very tall, hates basketball although gym teacher keeps TRYING to get her involved.

½ Pint – profoundly gifted, grade accelerated 2 grades, love to DANCE, wants to take gymnastics (when money allows), keeps things inside too much, tends to rage when overwhelmed. Learning to control. Is diagnosed with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and has a cyst in her brain, and also has the same bleeding disease that her sister has. Additionally, was born addicted to heroin, child of two junkies. Still very tiny.

And Baby Belly,

Four dogs, one of whom is both STUPID and DEAF, the other of whom is just STUPID, another is OLD and just wants to sleep, and one chihuahua who is always cold and wants on your lap. They bark ALOT. And constantly. The one dog who is deaf and stupid, thinks the flat screen TV in the living room is a window. So everytime someone outside that window looks at all menacing..she jumps off the couch, runs over to the TV stand and barks like crazy. You have to STOMP the floor to get her attention, and then shake your head NO for her to stop. Then, two seconds later, you have to do it all over again!!

Five outside cats, two female who are finally spayed. They fall in the pool regularly, so I put the ladder INSIDE the pool so they can get out! When I go out to feed them, and one is wet, I know they went swimming....

And that's our family!! There are days I think we could rival the Osbourne family in reality TV LOL. But it's OUR family, and this is the only life we know.

I continue to have the girls in counseling, maybe only once or twice a year...but it's there if they need it.

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