I am not the mother of an only child.
I don't know if I would have acted differently if I was.
I am not the mother of an addict son.
My daughter had CHILDREN.
All of those things figured heavily into my actions and decisions over the past 11 years.
I had other children still at home. My job as a mother was to love and protect THEM from the fallout of their sister's bad choices/addiction/disaster of a life.
My basic feeling is that although I tried for years to help my daughter to get/stay clean, it wasn't working.
My first response was as a mother. save, save, save.
My second response was as a mother - protect, protect, protect (the other children)
My third response was as a mother, SAVE the grandchildren.
My fourth response was as a human. Stay sane. Do whatever it takes to not spend the rest of my life crying, wailing, guilty and miserable. Take back MY life and actually enjoy the days. Not be consumed by HER addiction any longer. Let HER addiction be HER problem.
she did it, she can fucking well deal with it. I am not the addict. I did nothing wrong. I didn't force her or contribute to anything that led her to use.
I took back MY life from the insanity and set myself free.
Would it be different if she were an only child? I dont' know. I won't cast stones, because I live in a VERY FRAGILE GLASS HOUSE.