Read me at your own risk.
Here is my advice to all of you who have found out your child is a heroin addict.
1. If they have children, get them. Call CPS, call your attorney, call whomever you can. Use whatever resources you have to get the children immediately, and then keep them.
2. Kick your child to the curb. Addicts will survive. Trust me. They will survive. They are smart enough to get heroin, they will not starve or go without shelter.
3. Change the locks on every door you have.
4. Put all your valuables into a safe deposit box. This includes car titles, jewelry, savings bonds, etc.
5. under NO circumstances give them money or food. It is THEIR choice to use their money for drugs. Do not enable this by feeding them either.
6. Let them walk.
7. Let them lose everything.
8. Warn the rest of the family.
9. Do not pay for rehabs, find rehabs or try to 'love them enough' to cure their addiction. It won't help them, and it WILL hurt you.
10. Conserve your energy and take care of yourself and the rest of your family.
11. Find and go to a grief counselor or group. Grieve for the child you gave birth to because they are dead. Perhaps still walking around, but not your baby any longer. You have to let that grief happen or you will go crazy.
12. Keep praying. Stay strong. This is between them and God. Let them go.
Your list is honest and heartfelt; but I'm not sure you can do all of these steps because someone else suggests it is what you must do. Just like our addicts have to journey on their own towards recovery or active addiction, we have to journey on our own to become a successful loving parent to an addict. But I don't feel that way about #1. That is a must, even if you take a long time to get to a point to understand and accept the other steps.
ReplyDeleteThank you for keeping it real and honest for all of us.
great list.. agree with all.
ReplyDeleteI agree but everyone has to walk it before they can process it. I wish I could have just read a list like yours and saved myself so much craziness. I wouldn't have followed through with any of it though because I wouldn't have been ready. Your blog has nudgged me a smidge closer at times along with Madison, Lou and Kathy M. After about 8 years, I am a whole new person when it comes to dealing with my addicted son. It truly took me getting pretty down physically and emotionally before I got to this point. Awesome Post as always Dawn.
ReplyDeleteGreat list! A very wise 12-Step program indeed.
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