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Monday, May 24, 2010

Ala Teen and Life

So, Pint has now gone to 3 Ala Teen meetings. For the heck of it, I go across the hall to the Al Anon meetings which are held simultaneously. They are okay. They don't look down on the fact that I am the mother of an addict, some meetings actually DO. Weird.

Pint seems to have leveled out a bit. She doesn't really like being around her Mom anymore, which I can totally understand since she found out about the arrest.

Ala Teen is helping her to understand that she is not responsible for her mother's actions, lack of action, sobriety and behaviors. I believe that it is also helping her with avoiding the manipulative behaviors of her mother, but at only 3 meetings, it's a bit early to tell.

Emotionally, she has settled down. I think it helps to know there are other kids out there who are going through much the same thing, although with the other kids, it is alcohol and the addict is still in the home.

Friday last, there was a function at school, the kids were putting on an Opera. Pint called her other grandparents who live down the street, and guess who answered the phone???

the DAD. Oh yeah. She was like, "who's this?". he replied, "your Dad.". her little face got a weird expression on it..and I heard her say "oh. Well, I don't really want to talk to you, I need to talk to Gramma." He must have said something and she goes "No, I need to talk to either Gramma or Peepaw."

GO PINT !!!! WOOT !!!

She seemed okay afterwards, so I let her deal with the emotions, and asked no questions. She did end up in our bed with a nightmare, but other than that, she did not speak of the conversation other than to tell me that it was her Dad who answered the phone. I asked her if she needed to talk about it or needed me to call her counselor, she paused, thought, and said "no, I'm okay with the whole thing Meemaw."

I still wish I could find her a support group of children of addicts who do NOT live with the addict and so, I have changed her counselor to one who is an addiction specialist; who is affiliated with a much larger organization, county funded, who has access to other children who have parents who are junkies AND who is willing to facilitate a support group for the kids.

I have also found an organization called the National Alliance for Drug Endangered Children which does NOT have a chapter in our state. I have contacted them to start one.

Their basic tenets are RESCUE, DEFEND, SHELTER, & SUPPORT the children who are considered at risk because they are in some way drug endangered. Living with a user, living in a crack house, living in a meth lab...etc.

I think it is about time someone started an agency JUST TO PROTECT THE KIDS !! They train DEC personnel to go out into the community and train police departments, child protective services, hospital emergency room personnel, etc to recognize and identify drug endangered children, and co-ordinate efforts to get them SAFE. This doesn't always mean removal, but in many cases, it will.

As I have stated vehemently and frequently, there are thousands of programs out there for the junkie, and not doodly squat for the real victims, the children of those junkies.

It's about damn time!!!

Pint is excited about AlaTeen, and her new counselor. School is out Friday and we have all summer!! The first putting up of the new pool was a sort of disaster, it turns out 4" off level in a 16' diameter makes a big difference so I had to drain the 5,000 gallons and today start building a retaining wall to bring up the low side 6". Then I will re-erect and refill the pool (as well as fork out another $200 for the water, which I really do not have. Sigh.)

The legs for the trampoline arrived so I will also be putting up the trampoline.

I am walking around the house singing Alice Cooper's song..."School's Out For Summer!"

Be well all.


  1. Wow Dawn. You are amazing. Go Dawn! So much good stuff here. Since I am an "Alanonic" I love that you are going "just for the heck of it." lol I love that Pint is going to Alateen and I love that you are starting a new group in your area and that these kids are NOT being lost in the chaos....thanks to you. Their needs are being met in some of the best ways possible and by someone who loves them so so much.

    Good luck with the pool...sheesh. I will say it are amazing.

  2. Great post. I am so glad there is AlaTeen and only wish I had gone to something like that growing up. She sure is a lucky pint to have you guiding her in life. I think of you often and was glad to see an update from you. Have a great week!

  3. Rescue defend shelter and support sounds like what you are doing for your grandchildren.

  4. Good update!!! I play Alice's song every year at the end of school just to re-live that feeling of FREEDOM!

  5. Your are my inspiration! Go Dawn Go!

  6. The innocent victims... :( But my gosh, you are doing so much for them - and it sounds like you are doing anything and everything possibly conceivable to see to it that they make it through.
    With Pint being the oldest I can see where much focus has to be on her as she can actually understand what is going on.
    You are awesome! Your love for your grandkids shines bright :)
    Don't envy the pool situation though!
    God bless.

  7. You are so amazing!! I admire you so much for your strength and dedication and willingness to "tell it like it is".
    You are the angel in you're grandchildren's lives and thank God for that.
    Love Alice Cooper too, btw :)